The costs of divorce

Divorce. Yes I know it is not a nice subject to talk about but Australia's divorce rate is definitely growing. When you hear that eight per cent of all marriages in Australia are doomed within five years and 19 per cent are expected to end within 10 years you start wondering.

Going through a divorce is a pretty harrowing experience. Not only does it take a lot out emotionally it also can be quite financially devastating. 

The shattered dreams and the broken heart tend to heal with time, but time does nothing to soften decimated savings, the loss of a house or the problems created by a cut in family income.

One way to protect your financial well-being is to become informed about your rights. Only if you are knowledgeable will you be able to act effectively -- for yourself and for your children, if you have kids.

The minute you sense your marriage is in serious trouble (this is the point at which you've been through counciling and have done everything possible), begin gathering documents and financial records. You'll need them, whether it seems your divorce will be peaceful or antagonistic.

Yes, this sounds pretty cold but one of your objectives should be to get your finances under control.

Start by tracking down all of your financial statements - put together a file of things like your statements from all your savings, loans and credit card accounts. Find all insurance policies - house, car, life policies and pull together everything to do with your mortgage and home ownership documents. In other words you need to know your financial position. If you have difficulty locating any of these documents, ask your bank, financial planner / broker to send you copies.

The next steps in a divorce can be quite costly so here's a few things to consider to keep costs to a minimum :

1. Most Solicitors charge by the hour. If your divorce is uncontested, that is, if you and your husband agree to the general settlement ahead of time, you'll avoid running up big legal bills.
Don't spend time crying on your solicitors shoulder. Tears are part of a divorce - but cry in an appropriate (and less expensive place).

2. Work out as much as you can before you walk through the solicitor's door.

3. Draw up a written list of assets and debts - Try to work out a reasonable way to divide them. If you disagree on some particulars, put those aside and work on splitting up what seems easy to handle. Then return to the stickier issues.

4 .If you have separate assets that you brought to the marriage but don't want to share with your soon-to-be ex, find the documents proving your ownership.

5. Give up the idea of punishment - If you take the view that you really want to stick it to your husband, it's going to wind up costing you in legal bills.

6. Unless you can work out everything easily, you will need a solicitor. Even if you do have a peaceful agreement, it's a good idea to have your settlement reviewed by a solicitor. Don't use the solicitor who helped you buy your house. Nor should you go to your husband's solicitor. You want your own, one who will represent you and your interests. Get referrals from recently divorced friends or associates.